Win the 2nd Half of This Life

Figuring Out What’s Next and Being True to Myself in the Process

I read it. Screenshot it. And then came back to it this afternoon. And then I came back to it again.

“That’s good enough. You don’t need confirmation.”

“Bet on you.”

“Put the work in.”

Damn Herm. These are all good nuggets from a wise man in a sport that I don’t particularly care about. I’m glad he’s back working with college athletes, shaping them, coaching them.

But the last line is where I got hung up. It has been running through my head all day and why I’m writing this now.

“Commit to something without knowing the outcome.”

I’ve been on the bench for 11 months since I was fired last October. As I wrote last October, I was okay with being fired. On the good days, I’m particularly grateful because I’m not sure I had the strength to leave on my own.

But over the past year, being a free agent and not having any particularly good full-employment options has been a much bigger hit to my ego than being fired was.

And there’s Herm’s words right there on the screen to carry me through today.

There’s usually something or someone, a conversation, text, coffee, e-mail, article, job posting that gets me through each day. I’m not picky. I look for and pick up all the nuggets. It’s like being the guy who has to get every. single. coin. when playing Super Mario Bros.

The thing about being unemployed or under-employed is that you never know where the break you’re looking for is going to come from. You never know who the person who has the power to unlock your future is going to cross your path. Maybe you know them already. Maybe your network will ultimately come through.

But so far, that hasn’t been the case. So I’ve hustled. I’ve taken contract work. I’ve gone to places to “be seen” and to “catch up.” And I’ve applied to jobs, sent out resumes.

I’ve never been afraid to work. I’ve never been afraid to bet on me. I have at times in my career been called arrogant. I think that’s a wonderful compliment. It comes from a self-assured place. Confidence, cocky…I don’t give a shit. If you can deliver, as an elite coach, manager, executive, I recognize how much strength is required to be the player who wants the ball in the clutch moment, who wants to deliver every day with consistency and do it with a bit of sauce.

People can disagree with me about that word or whether I even fit into that category but what they can’t disagree with is that I’m a man on a mission. I’m the guy who sees the board from every angle and five moves ahead of most others. It’s a skill and I’ve been training it for 22 years.

This isn’t by chance. This is the work. I wake up early. I read everything. I connect the dots. And that’s hard because most managers (on and off the field) don’t know how to deal with special players. They don’t know how to adapt. They don’t know how to evolve. They haven’t created a culture that allows the people around them the freedom to create. They may know the right buzz words but they’re simply not on a quest for epic, they’re content with good enough.

At AstroTurf, I took a brand that the soccer community knew and treated as a slur and I brought it front and center through partnerships, sales, educational programming, social media — I’m the ‘versatile’ player that you can put in any role and I may not be the best at that specific role, but I can contribute as long as I’m on the team sheet.

A few weeks ago I was sitting across from an Olympian, a World Champion, a Legend, and in the middle of a story she paused and blurted out, “I’m a terrible self promoter.” I smiled, laughed and then involuntary responded, “me too.”

That’s not because I don’t believe in myself. That’s not because I’m not willing to bet on myself every time. It’s because what makes me special is that I will find the way in whatever role I’m in to serve the collective.

So being without the resources of a multi-national company or the power of the SoccerPlus brand before that, I still wake up every morning and I go to work serving as many people as I can. I’m still effective. It’s a powerful drug to know that I can change the world with little more than a laptop or phone, some free websites — this one and Twitter and my words, ideas and vision.

This is my halftime talk to myself. I’m not going to change. I’m committed to the process. I’m committed to “something without knowing the outcome.”

But I know what I’m capable of. And I’m going to keep working, keep grinding, keep hustling until someone who is hiring or trying to accomplish something epic sees in me what I see in myself. I won’t yield. I won’t give up. I won’t stop.

But I am going to keep learning. I’m going to learn to find more strength in my vulnerability. I’m going to learn to be a better self-promoter. I’m going to hold firm on what my value is. I’m going to be a better leader tomorrow than I am today. Or…I don’t know what, I’ll leave soccer? I’ll leave sports? That doesn’t matter. My skills are transferable. I will find my place.

But in the meantime, if you’re struggling with your identity, your self-worth, your confidence, learn the lesson I have learned from the people who have carried me through these past eleven months, they’ve believed in me, they elevate me, they kick me in the ass when I begin to feel sorry for myself.

And know that I believe in you. I will always see the special qualities in the people around me.

So, if you’re looking to add a star to your team, you can e-mail me at adicicco@gmail.com and we can talk about your vision. If it aligns with mine, I’m coming out of the locker room from what feels like a very long halftime rested, inspired and ready to win this game. In fact, I’ll let you in on the ‘secret’ to my success, I’ve already won.

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