A Humbled Atheist

For a long time spirituality had been black and white for me. I didn’t feel a connection to it, I felt resentment towards it, so I denounced it and belittled it. I didn’t value what it does for some…

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if only for a moment

hello november,

you’ve always been my favorite.

i will always love watching the leaves change color as they effortlessly fall to the ground. there is such beauty to be found as the world swiftly turns into a sea of red and orange… it feels as if we are living in a colorful fantasy — if only for a moment.

we spend the whole year craving that moment, when the air feels so crisp and cool as it enters your lungs — at times, it can make you feel weightless.

if only for a moment, the world around us feels a little bit lighter. the sun lingers on long after the day is done, illuminating the night and making the darkness feel a little bit brighter…

(you are so graceful, so vibrant, so light…)

it’s one of those moments where we find that our hearts are laced with joy — a joy that we could never earn, and surely we could never deserve… and it always catches us by surprise. november comes around and stops you in your tracks, every time.

we are reminded of just how beautiful this world can be as the leaves transform from ordinary to extraordinary overnight.

often, we have a hard time recognizing the beauty within ourselves until we become aware of the beauty surrounding us… (and i promise you — you are just as beautiful as the leaves when they change. you are just as beautiful as the stars in the sky. you are just as beautiful as the waves of the ocean. and you are just as beautiful as the most breath-taking sunset you have ever seen)

we get so caught up in our lives that we lose sight of the beautiful things around us. we stay up all night studying for exams, work long days, and spend way too much time staring blankly into cell phone screens. we tune into the present moment, obsess over our daily struggles, and simply forget about everything else…

and before you know it — winter, spring and summer have come to pass, and you didn’t even take a moment to appreciate them.

so the eleventh month serves as my yearly reminder that life is worth living, and life is worth loving

november has its own unique way of waltzing into our lives, capturing our hearts, and parting before we ever get the chance to say goodbye… so here i am, on a rainy day in april, and all i can think about is how the smile on your face reminds me of the beauty of the leaves when they change…

(all i ever do is spend my time thinking of you, hoping that one day you will understand what i meant when i told you that i still miss november…)

i love you always

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