Walk

It does the mind and body good.

It’s 11:03 PM and if I have to estimate, it’s about 22 degrees Fahrenheit outside.

I step into my indestructible 4 year-old flip-flops, socks still on. You know the next required move; wiggle the feet while at the same time pushing with a decent amount of force so the single flip flop strap moves and ultimately rests comfortably between the big toe and the toe just to the right and to the left of the big guy. I don’t think that toe has an official name.

I place my Oakland Raiders winter hat, pom-pom and all, atop my sizable head.

I pull my hoodie’s hood over the hat for the ultimate in cold and wind protection.

I hook the leash onto the dog’s collar before putting on my gloves. If I put the gloves on first it’s impossible to grasp the hook thingy on the leash and the dog gets very impatient. She leaps at the door knob as if to say, “What the fuck would you do, human, if someone blocked you for like a minute and a half right when your need to urinate was at its peak?”

I open the front door, allow myself to be temporarily blinded by the projected-on-to-the-house Christmas lights from the front lawn, grab a railing anticipating the dog pulling me with angry fervor, and slowly descend the front steps.

Yes we are cheating by using THOSE lights rather than going through the age old ritual of taking hours to painfully hang lights on the gutters or the railings or the shrubbery knowing that the final results will never meet expectations.

I don’t care and neither do the kids. That’s a win-win.

While the dog pees, I scan my surroundings for ne’er-do-wells. We live in the middle of nowhere without street lights and everyone else who lives on the street is asleep in their comfy beds with their comfy comforters and duvet covers.

It’s just me and the elements and I need to know what I’m up against. If I sense a coyote or hobo is present, we will quickly turn around and head back inside to safety and warmth.

On this night all appears OK, so we proceed with our walk.

Oh how I cherish these walks.

I kill for those long late night walks with the dog. While they started as an…

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